Monday, May 1, 2017

The extreme introverted

Recently, I was able to watch a Korean drama or Korean RomCom series entitled as "my introverted boss" or "my shy boss". I find it interesting that a show would feature the character of an introvert person, an extreme one I should say. Thing is, I can somehow relate to the character say 70% being an introvert too. Made me wonder, are there really introverts like the character in this show? I do believe there are levels of being an introvert or perhaps the existence of someone who is both introvert and extrovert, as some would say. But I am unsure if such kind of super extreme introvert exists. As for me? I would categorize myself as an extreme introvert added with the character of being a Christian. In short, a Christian extreme introvert.

Now, why I included the name or word Christian? I find it somewhat having an effect to my character or personality. But let me point you first on being an extreme introvert. As I have said, from the korean drama "my introverted boss", I relate much with the character, but find it too much over acting on some parts. Like running away from people or absolutely not relating with other people. I think those are over acted or too much overboard, unless there are real introverts like those. I don't know. But I hardly see one. What I see in myself though, is that I'm not fond on looking at people, except for secret peaks (hehe!). But most often, walking around I dare not look on people much specially when I feel they are looking at me, unless when I notice a familiar shadow or face. More than looking at people, I'm more attentive at people's actions unless I have a bad night or what we call "puyat". My defensive mechanisms seem to be lowered down, that is because I tend to suspect everywhere.  

Stage freight, indeed that's one of the things I notice on myself. But for a reason, there are times I am not. Most often, these happens when I'm dealing with Christian matters (e.g. song leading, teaching / preaching) and when I ask for God's enablement. This is the reason why I added the word "Christian".

Being able to be alone for a vast period of time, being able to choose not to talk or to be exact automatically unable to talk specially when asked out of the blue questions, keeping secrets (not perfect though), trying to understand people or more so reading people while others misunderstand us, introverts. These are the things portrayed in the korean drama series and at some point, I could relate. Even the funny parts where the character thinks so much until when he decides to speak, no one is there to listen. There were a lot, except for some few things.

Things that I couldn't relate with the character is of course, the guy is rich while I'm not (haha!). Money or finances are very hard to earn in my setting and of course his status or position. But nevertheless that is not really part of being an introvert. Other things  that I differ from the character, is that he dances, I don't! Even in secret. But I do sing! and again, honestly, I sing more songs that are related to my Christian faith. Other songs? I tend to shy away from it and not even the sense of delight in singing it. There are few though, but really, little desire in singing other songs other than what is related to my faith.

Wearing a hood? nah! not really into it. But at times I do like wearing a hood. Not just always. I wonder what else I can't relate with the character? I can't think of something else now.. Some things that we are the same? Listening, we are fine in just listening and folks who knows us should notice that. But to force us to talk or ask us to tell a story? We really tend to have no ability to speak our minds as fast as our mouth. We really tend to think much first and when we are ready to talk, others most often change the topic. And, waiting for an introvert to talk requires much much patience.. hihihihi!

I read one article about introvert as well and talking about "talking", the author says (paraphrase) "we don't really talk much about small things or activities, but more about life. " And, I think I would agree on that. And as the author also emphasized, we like to tend to stick to the things which we see as valuable or important, from which we like to put all our energy towards it.  

Writing, I must say seem to be our means of an outlet more than our mouth. Specially these times that computers are built. Because reality wise, my writing is not that reaaaallly good. I mean, my hand writing. And, I think having the ability to change or edit what you wrote makes this "writing" more effective for us in expressing our thoughts and minds, such as what I am doing now.

Well, I think I could share more of my thoughts of this, but I think I'll end here. Just really glad to see a show featuring the character of an introverted one which I hope sends at least ideas to others or to the extroverts who try to want us to be like them. Because reality wise? Us being an introvert makes us who we are, as unique person as should be. And hope we are accepted as we are. Cheers!

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